Self Portrait: This is Me

This is my self portrait: a dying Azalea tree with a chance at a new life. In 2006, I lost eight friends and family members to death. My father died in my arms. We nearly lost our home. I attempted suicide.

It's been just under three years since it all ended. I've been dead inside all that time and just this year, I've begun to live again. I've dreamed. I've hoped. I've started to pray again. All that means new life in a dead space. I'm shedding the broken shell that once covered me all over. And I'm so grateful.

This plant is just right outside my front porch door. This past Fall, I had cut the tree down because it was just dead. With the Winter and rain we have had, I figured that was the end of it. And then, this past week in the sunshine, new growth began to sprout. Just like me.

I know my Daddy wouldn't have wanted me to feel dead, but I did. And I wanted to die. And now, now I want to live. For myself, for my father.